10.03.2017

Nevertheless, She Persisted - Run for the Cure 2017

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I'll never forget when I was 24 and I found a lump in my right breast. 
It was the moment that would change my life forever. 

When they asked me to come in for the results on November 18th 2014, my birthday, I didn't change the appointment.
I didn't want to enjoy my day having the results looming over my head. 

My doctor asked me to come in alone and she said some of the most shocking words you can ever hear. 

"Sam, it came back as cancer."

The next thing I remember is my family being rushed in, as I was told I would have to endure chemotherapy, surgery, and radiation. 
I was going to lose my long blonde hair.
 I was going to have to take a leave from my promising career. 
Through the tears, I heard my doctor say - if you do this - if you push through this year - you're going to be okay. 
Trade one year of your life for many happy ones ahead of you. 

I quickly learned I was stronger then I thought, and by Christmas 2014 I had no hair. 
By February, I had completed three treatments and my outlook was insanely positive. 
I started a blog, gained media attention, and with this large following behind me - supportive friends, friends of friends, now husband and family - I never felt alone. 
Sometimes, with my illness, I felt lonely - but not alone. 

They urged my mom for detection as a precaution.
 She underwent mammograms,  ultrasounds, and biopsies and as we sat in the room waiting for her results we all couldn't help feeling - this is all a little too familiar.

My mom was diagnosed 3 months after me with Stage 1 breast cancer.
 Our genes weren't positive so this was random.
 I have always been close with my mom and it felt wrong that we would go through surgery and radiation together - but I also felt as if someone understood me.
 What we were going through together. 
I saved my moms life - this was the way it was supposed to be. 

During summer 2015, I was one body part short, with shorter hair but I felt stronger then I ever have. 
We both rang the bell and celebrations included cake and one direction tickets. 
I was going to go back to work; life.
 And even though I felt conflicted - how do you move forward, when you have gone through so much, and everyone else has stayed the same - I was excited. 
I was high on life. 

In January 2016, I found a small lump in my right armpit. I had learned my lesson and went to the oncologist right away, where they biopsied it just to be safe. I did further tests and I heard the words a second time: the biopsy came back as cancer. It has spread to your lungs and bones and brain.

I'm 26 and have Stage IV breast cancer. 

When cancer progresses to Stage IV, there is no cure.

I remember thinking - I traded a year of my life for better ones ahead. How can this be? 

I will be on treatment the rest of your life - and when the treatments stop - so will I.

I tried to maintain a positive frame of mind but I knew about Stage IV and I was afraid.
 My life is incremental - I live between 3 month scans.

The average life expectancy of someone with Stage IV is 24 months. I have been living 18. 

It took me a long time to figure out how I would make this a positive speech. 
This stage is normally for Survivors - how can I kick off the run and still be true to Stage IV - which isn't always pink, and ribbons and glitter. 

I am living proof that you can have quality of life when you are are diagnosed as Stage IV. With help from amazing oncologists, therapists, and phychologists I can stand here today and tell you I am living my best life.

Every day I wake up feeling good I celebrate - I see friends, eat good food (more like 30 lbs of good food!), I see movies, walk and get a coffee with my husband, adopt the perfect dog named Maverick. I snuggle my best friends baby's and swim, and am overjoyed with this time I have to develop my relationships with friends and family, to take a step back and realize what my purpose is, what am I here for, what am I to accomplish in this life?

Last summer I was very ill and decided to get married. I can't have children, chemo and basic morals have taken that from me. Still, I push forward. I want more time. I beg and plead - more time. More time. More books, music, movies, discoveries. I want more of this beautiful life. 

We are all gathered here today because we have been touched by cancer. We have lost loved ones, we care for those whom have to go through treatments or we are survivors - or thrivers - ourselves. 

I am asking today, not for a cure, but for time. More research, more treatments available to me, means more time to my husband, my best friends and family. It means seeing my nephew walk for the first time and watching my sister go down the aisle. 

More time.
 I'm not asking for a cure, I am asking all of those who have been
Touched by cancer - early or late Stage -
to give to Stage IV and grant us more time.

Thank you to everyone who joined our team, spread word about MBC, donated their precious time and made Metastatic Breast Cancer Ottawa one of the Top 10 teams in the region,  with over $13 000 donated to MBC. I am so grateful to my husband, family and best friends, Thank you to everyone who watched and shared my speech, It was a crazy September, but I wouldn't change a thing.


xx

Sam
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