When my dad came to me and said that the Ottawa rugby community wanted to start a fundraiser for me, I said no automatically. No questions asked. Fundraisers are for people that can't take care of themselves.
When I went to my first oncologist appointment, Jeff and I started to realize this was getting serious. My doctor outlined all of my side effects: nausea, extreme exhaustion, short of breath, mouth sores, dry skin, hair loss... and you absolutely can. not. get. sick. This is the only life threatening side effect of chemo; your immune system is at an absolute low (chemo stops the regeneration of cells, so it not only kills cancer cells that are rapidly dividing, but it kills all healthy cells as well). A little cold and the dreaded winter flu can be potentially life threatening (Although I have always wanted to take an ambulance ride...kidding mom).
My oncologist then gave me a stack of prescriptions and sent me on my way. There were 4 different anti-nausea meds, a prescription for a wig, anti mouth sore meds, and Neulasta. Throw in some anti-anxiety medication and some sleeping pills and I'm ready for real chemical concoction! Sorry, body.
"Funny" story time:
As mentioned in previous posts, I happen to think I am invincible. In fact, some weeks I found myself working 60-70 hours a week (of my own doing), completely ignoring the e-mails regarding my benefits that were sent out repeatedly in my first month at my work.
Next thing I know, I'm being told I have cancer and I have absolutely no benefits. Being a large company, I can only opt into my benefits in April... every 2 years. Uh oh.
Long story short: paying $25 a month for benefits that have no limits (meaning they pay for 80% of ALL my prescriptions no matter the cost) is SO WORTH IT. I am so lucky to have some incredible people on my side at my work who moved mountains and made miracles happen: next thing I know I'm signed up for benefits back dating to November 1st. Thank you to the book Gods!
Okay, back to the meds: Neulasta is a shot that I give myself (or in this case, my mom administers to me) after every chemo session (Okay, so not only do I have cancer, get hot flashes from menopausal side effects, but now I have to give myself needles? UGH). Neulasta dramatically increases my white blood cell count, boosting my immune system and reducing the risk of infection. We went to fill the prescription to find out it costs upwards of $2500 (x 6 chemo sessions). Again, thank you benefits. Then I go to shop for wigs, realizing they are also upwards of $1000. Factor in parking at the hospital and that sick leave EI will only kick in at 50% of my pay, and my rent coming out this week... and you can start to slowly see my face turn stark white.
Knowing my dad, he disregarded my message of "NO FUNDRAISING", and his friend Gary Thomas went ahead and set up a youcaring page for me with a goal $2500. I started to see it shared by my family on facebook. Mortified, I told everyone to delete it. I wanted nothing to do with this fundraiser. I hadn't even told all of my family and friends yet!
Then I started to see the amazing outpouring of support on the fundraising page; not only in donations but kind words and thoughts. I started receiving e-mails and facebook messages from other families that have been touched by breast or other forms of cancer, giving me tips and tricks to get through treatments. And next thing I knew, I hit the goal of $2500.
I decided to take to my Facebook and share a link to a blog that I found... it scared me, but also reassured me that I could get through this next year. When searching for others "like me" (that 0.4% of those that get breast cancer at 24) I found Nalie. We have the exact same story: diagnosed at 24, same cancer, varying treatments. We will both have gone through the highest forms of chemo, similar surgeries, and radiation. I found so much comfort watching her videos (comfort meaning I am scared sh*&tless, but atleast know what I'm in for! Knowledge is power). I posted the link to her blog hoping it would help my family and friends understand. Mainly, I wanted everyone to know so when they saw me at the grocery store without hair, it wouldn't be an awkward run-in. Ha.
Then came the messages and e-mails. Hundreds. Seriously. I woke up to 68 facebook messages the next day, and they just kept coming. I was receiving links to blogs, uplifting videos and quotes. Well wishes from friends from high school, teachers, friends of friends, parents, strangers. They all asked what they could to do help, asking I let them know how I'm doing.
The Ottawa Rugby community is the most genuine group of people you could choose to know. When I was asked if I was "surprised" at the outpouring of support, I had to think, and said "no". I'm shocked, I'm overwhelmed, but surprised? No. These are people that have helped me move, helped my parents build a restaurant from the ground up; they support each other and are the most loving and sweet people you could meet. Next thing I know, Toronto rugby has shared my page, and the Canadian Rugby website wants to feature my story. Like I said: kind people.
I spoke with my doctors, Jeff, and multiple family members and friends about the idea behind fundraising. So many people want to help, want to give at a time of crisis, but didn't know how. Everyone at the hospital has been adamant about allowing yourself to receive support: remember it, and give it back later. So, I said fine. And then the fundraiser went viral.
As of right now, it has been shared 899 times and we have received $9000. Wow. I've been struggling with how you even begin to say "Thank You". So, in the plainest terms: Thank You. Jeff and I no longer have words to express how grateful we are.
I also have to tell the story about my friend (and possible guardian angel, if you believe in that sort of thing) Katrina. Katrina and I met as co-workers at my last job, and have continued to grow into close friends ever since. She has been one of the most downright hilarious and positive influences in my life. She is the kind of friend that will cry with you... but only for so long, until she gets down to the business of making you feel better. She calls to check in after every appointment. And, after she found out about my diagnosis, started planning events and raising money to help me keep living a "normal" life.
So what do you say when friends, family, and strangers show you this sort of generosity? Honestly, Jeff and I are at a loss for words. Thank you will never be enough.
So, instead, this is what I plan to do:
We are going to open a bank account that the funding will go in to. This account will strictly be for medical expenses.
1) This will help cover the medical costs incurred that are not covered by my insurance.
2) This will help me get a fabulous wig and some cute scarves to help keep me super warm this winter!
3) This will allow Jeff and I to continue to independently live in our apartment. This has meant SO much to us. My apartment is the coziest place I have ever lived, and I was so sad at the idea of having to give it up. So, for that, thank you x a million.
4) There will be costs around my surgery, so this will help with all clothing tailored around the surgery that I will have to purchase.
5) Any "ghost" costs, including parking at the hospital, wages lost from my mom taking time off work etc.
6) Lastly, if my genetics test come back positive, this will mean that my family may have to decide to undergo preventative surgeries, where there may be costs to them that are unexpected. This will also help cover this.
Anything additional and leftover, I can assure you, I will reinvest back into the community. I have been doing intensive research into the CBCF, and due to the complete shock of my diagnosis, I plan to do some work with them regarding breast cancer awareness.
Jeff said to me about a week ago: "Hey! You haven't cried in so long!". And I thought...how can I cry? How can I even be sad? I am surrounded by so much love, so much kindness: from my immediate family all the way to the outreach of complete strangers! While there is so much focus on all the "bad" that is happening out there, I have witnessed an incredible display of selflessness within my own community. People are good. In times of crisis, people reach out with stories of hope. People remind you of their love for you in the most sensational ways. If my life were to end tomorrow (theoretically..because, like I would let that happen), I wouldn't be devastated, I would be so happy. Going into Christmas (and my next treatment) I am so grateful for all the wonderful humans all around me. Love to you all!
xx
Sam
