12.20.2014

(un)wind: Life After Diagnosis (+ link roundup!)

 I've had quite a few people ask me what I do with my days now that I'm off. Truth is, I actually try not to lie around that much. In the beginning I found it hard to find a reason to get out of bed in the mornings: I wasn't working and my life didn't feel like it had a ton of "purpose". I've tried to abandon that idea and plan and fill my days with fun activities (even something as minor as a trip to Target, or a walk to Starbucks). This last week I haven't been that tired and I wanted to get out and do as many things as possible before my next treatment!

"Learn, laugh, love, smile, cry and dream. Care deeply. Don't hate. Mostly, though, laugh. Share the passion of life's grand adventure"

Can I eat this again?

I love days when Jeff is off. I take advantage by trying to get him to wake up at 6AM with me (he really loves that). We were excited to have a few days that didn't involve hospital visits, so we decorated our apartment for Christmas and had lunch by our place! I thought the quote on my place mat was very fitting.

 Salvation army Christmas concert with my aunt & family! Tradition.

Alas, on Wednesday, I had a rough one. I was tired. I had a sore throat (which I learned Thursday, is a common side effect of the flu shot! Which I had this week. Since my immune system is low, it's actually totally normal for me to get a bit sick from it). I was having some major hot flashes. My body hair started falling out, and then this morning my actual hair started coming out in clumps.

I was so hard on myself yesterday for not going out and crossing a bunch of activities off my to-do list. Instead, I laid in bed and listened to the ENTIRE Serial podcast. All 12 episodes. (Have any of you listened to it? I become obsessed fairly easily with TV shows, but this was the first time I've listened to a podcast. I loved Sarah's voice and diction. I found listening to someone speak totally relaxing. It's now made me super interested in trying out audiobooks!).

 This is what 14 hours in bed looks like. 

 I think part of me may have been nervous for my oncologist appointment which was Thursday afternoon. Thankfully, it's as if the universe knew I needed some GOOD news, and as some of you may know: I got back great news!

1) Since my side effects from the chemo were minimal the first time, it likely means I will have a fairly easy ("easy"..ha) time throughout the rest of the treatments. This means... I may escape chemo without any nausea! Woo. Let's keep our fingers crossed on this one.

2) The biopsy I had done on some lumps in my left breast came back as benign (TMI? If so, Sorry but...). Double woo! This may have an impact on the eventual surgery I choose to have.

3) My oncologist then asked me..so, is it working? I told him I wasn't sure. The tumour still felt fairly large to me. He measured it, and told me he'd have to disagree... that when he originally measured it, it was 10cm, and now it was 8cm. And, if you do the math: 10x10x10 = 1000... 8x8x8=512. This means, despite how I felt... it shrunk quite a bit with only one treatment! He smiled and told me to go  celebrate this Christmas because he couldn't have given me better news.

So, going into the weekend I'm super relieved (and also super in need of a wig). I think our mind gets the best of us sometimes: I tried to make myself feel guilty for not being active when in reality my body is fighting a major battle. Even though I feel better on the outside, my insides are fighting hard for me right now. A bed day may be what the doctor orders every once in awhile and I guess I accept that (I did hear the Real World just started up again... ).

Anyways, I have been spending SO much time clicking around the internet that I thought I'd share some interesting links to make your Saturday (and visit to this blog) all that much more interesting! (also, less cancer related... so much for not making this a cancer blog...)

Weekly (un)Wind:

-  How To Be Powerful, Likeable, and Female: This article talks about my favorite subject(s): women, the workplace, management style, and Jenna Lyons.
- Why Authors Don't Compete: this article by Seth Godin is awesome. "More reading is better than less reading, even if what's getting read isn't ours."
- This etsy shop makes all "miniature" doll sized, diorama friendly (amazingly adorable) accessories. Picture mini Harry Potter, mini Vogue, mini Ouijia board.The detail in them is crazy!
- My best friend is getting married this summer, so I've spent my fair share of time looking at wedding blogs. So far, this wedding is the most unique and fun I've seen yet!
- Also, if you're looking for some good book recommendations, this is Amazon's list of top books you should be reading in your lifetime (dated last February).
- Lastly, I have talked about one of my favorite blogs on here before, but A Beautiful Mess has been great with the holiday inspiration! I am obsessed with this Palm Springs gingerbread house, and these no bake oreo truffles (I just made them...they're amazing and so easy!)

Happy Saturday! (Now go listen to Serial if you haven't done so already)

xx

Sam
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